Thanksgiving Food X Too Much

I just had Thanksgiving dinner for the second time in two days. You know the drill. Make enough food for an army and then make dessert like you didn’t eat anything all day. Then eat the same thing again for several days. With gravy and whipped cream.

I LOVE Thanksgiving and Autumn and cinnamon and apples and pumpkin and yams and turkey with golden crispy skin and gravy and sweaters and chai tea and apple cider in all its forms. I love thankfulness and prayers and hugs and reminders that we are family. I love it all. And I always, always eat too much. It’s practically a law.

The trick is to stand on your feet all day cooking and still dress pretty for dinner and then still take a pretty picture after dinner when all you want to do is unzip your pants, your underwear and your skin and let your stomach have some room to breathe.

But then again, there are the cookies, right there.

Here’s the thing. I blame it on my sweet friend Pam Johns. I went to visit her this summer and even after I told her to not give me any goodies to eat and I’m trying to watch what I eat and all that, she fed me too much, every meal AND SHOWED ME WHAT THEY KEEP IN THEIR PANTRY.

A pantry is a foreign concept to this girl. I know you all have them, and if you don’t have them you feel as though you should have them. Pam’s even has a motion detector light in it so you don’t have to exercise even one more muscle while you reach for the turtles. WRAPPED IN CHOCOLATE, OF COURSE. But I live in the land of never enough kitchen cabinetry and even though we do, actually, have enough kitchen cabinetry we do not have a pantry.

But let it be known. Even if I had a pantry I would never, ever be able to stock it with things like pretzels filled with peanut butter and heath bars and chocolate covered almonds. Never.

But anyway, I went to visit Pam in, what was it? June? And I have not stopped eating since. IT IS NOW THANKSGIVING.

But that one last piece of pie has done a trick on me and I think I don’t even want to eat again. Ever. I think that tomorrow I will not want anything but raw vegetables and water all day. I’m pretty sure.

Getting out the fat pants now.